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Shiny Abstract Texture





At the helm of the hell that befell me may or may not be a long-covid origin . 


At 40 years old, I earnestly don’t take anything for granted in life now after what I’ve endured in these past 3+ years. I no longer even see executive function of bodily systems as a given anymore, but a gift, as for a time, mine was (grossly) compromised.


As it has come into some speculation, that I may have “neurological long Covid”, when reading my memoir or sample passages, and trying to get in touch with the heart of my story, this is to be considered. I feel my memoir is a story of a journey that people living with the difficult impact of neurological long Covid, could relate to, benefit from but what’s more, find the rare comfort in that is needed, currently underrepresented and that I speak to. 


About and from within a 24+ month 24/7 chronic dissociative state of depersonalization/derealization (DPDR), with pan-anxious features and crippling iterations of synesthesia, I was writing. I composed this memoir so as to have a singular tendril of tether to my mortal existence and the earthly experience; to life’s continuation. For, to circumvent a suicidal-fluctuating mind, I would have to create an inner-narrative and outer-world in which dissociative wasn’t an abuser but my muse. To survive it I would have to and it was in doing this that I found metamorphosis.


This manuscript is my write or die for as a cathartic expression of self-preservation I’ve written an insightful, immersive, introspective and interoceptive memoir of this entire unthinkable sickness. 

As you can hopefully see, I have every inner-calling and intention to continue writing books throughout my life, and in that very special way, share myself and reach others . 


When I become published, so much has yet to unfurl through the questions readers will compose in emails, raise their hands in readings to ask and so on. 



Where a book ends, the story has only just begun. And that, I find to be one of the most beautiful things about memoir. ​​


I deeply beseech you as I profoundly need you to help me get my all-important neurological anomaly survival and transformation story onto the shelves of bookstores and into the lives of those in need of the voice I speak.




S.D. Selles

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